Forgiving those who trespass you, and those you trespass

Two mothers were in a heated argument the other morning when our school bus stopped to pick up their children.
They were in each other’s face, screaming at one another.
“I am not a liar!” one mother yelled.
“Get out of my face!” said the other.
While I watched the entire scene unfold I wondered what happened after we left our stop. One of the children, a young girl, was frightened and began crying. The little three-year-old boy was not old enough to understand what was going on. But, I could see a question mark on his little face as I strapped him into his car seat. He looked up at me as if he wanted to ask a question, “What just happened?” He was simply too young to know. The results of this type of anger will show up somewhere down the road, if not already making a mark on his young life.
“I have to deal with people like her!” one mother shrugged as we loaded their children. “I am not a liar!” I would not know if she was a “liar” or not because I did not know either one of them, and had not been privy to what went on before we stopped the bus with our yellow and red flashers beaming into an early morning frost.
As the bus pulled off the two women walked up a driveway, still shouting at one another. I thought one was about to punch out the other. And, this is how we raise our children?
The next day, one of the mothers approached our bus, and said, “I am sorry for what happened yesterday,” and she took her children off the bus.
That is all she said, “I am sorry for what happened yesterday.” But, did either one go to the other and say, “Forgive me…?” I guess we will never know.
Scenes occur like this everyday in our relationships with other people. Fortunately, there is the act of forgiveness which is readily available, any time and any place.
We each have something or someone to forgive...I hear it all the time. It can be small stuff like a thoughtless comment, a slip of the tongue using foul language, or following a slow car that made you late; or it could be colossal things like a trusted friend who lied to you and hurt you, or the mother who refuses to let you live your own life, or a father who cannot forgive you because you did not follow his exact advice. Maybe it's wishing you hadn't lost your temper, or your self control, or a time you regret being spiteful or impatient. Perhaps it's wishing you had been somewhere one minute earlier, or had listened to that advice.
But truth be told, we all have something to forgive because life is always happening - especially when we're not ready. There will always be opportunities to deal with situations that test us. In each event, we bring our humanness to the table and do the best we can in that moment. Ready or not, the sun will rise today, and ready or not, it will set today. In between, the wind may blow, the rain may fall, and the light may shine...all simultaneously, depending on where you are. Crap happens.
The choices we make are no different than an alcoholic or addict that chooses sobriety. You do it one day at a time, one moment at a time. You choose to take action every day and live your life up to the standards of what you now know you want. Face your fears head-on by taking positive action for a new outcome. Give yourself the full blessing to do better in each new moment and to stop suffering about things you did in the past. If you really want to feel better, then use your energy for doing what you can right now to show your positive changes in thinking. If you were previously unkind, then be kind now; previously thoughtless; be thoughtful now. Walk your talk. That's how living in 'The Light' works!
Remember forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Part of taking care of yourself knows how to forgive and make discerning choices. A discerning choice means that you remember the past enough to adjust your course and avoid any 'holes in the sidewalk' if you see them again. If you have hurt someone they may need evidence that the 'holes in your sidewalk' have been patched. Your evidence is your commitment to do better each time that you realize you can, and to promptly act on it.